The Truth is Out There...

Britain's Ministry of Defence has released files containing information about UFO sightings. These files range from crazy people who claim to have had relations with aliens, as well as more legitimate military sightings. You can check out the newly released files for yourself online. They're open to the public to peruse so we can make our own judgments. Oh cover-ups.

Obama has him by the throat...

I wish Americans would just let him squeeze!

Absurd Question:

If you had to erase one color from our visual spectrum, which color would it be?

Heroin Addicted Elephant!

No shit. An elephant has gone through (what I hear can be) the horrible effects of heroin withdrawal. Of course the animal didn't seek out the sweet shit and find the most effective way to shove it into its bloodstream, but that doesn't make it not yearn for it like I do my morning coffee. Obviously it was human beings who got the pachyderm hooked on the junk, and they did so in order to make it controllable so they can see some cold hard cash.

Wow, pimps really don't discriminate when it comes to Hos (even if they weigh a few tons and are wrinkly). I thought that was just something I learned from "Hookers on the Point" via HBO and a lot of time on my hands.

What won't people (all over the world) do for a buck?

She's No WONDER WOMAN, But She Scares Me!

So is this what it has come down to? A sad sad woman who can only read from a teleprompter whilst effectively projecting the general malaise of evil? Is this the republican's secret weapon? Their answer to Hillary not being on the opponent's ticket? Really?

The worst part about this debacle is in fact that it could be a reality. I'm not one of those people who can fester in their oh so out of touch intellectual disdain with the knowledge that it couldn't possibly come to be (I mean, look at the last eight years). The part that is truly scary is that the probability of her coming into office has a higher chance of coming to fruition than the realization of universal health care.

The Bitch Saved Mowgli!

So no shit, it’s really happened. Despite the whole modern world’s understandable rebuttal of all things fable, a fable has in fact come into reality. A dog has saved a human baby and brought it back to be raised with its own puppy offspring.

There’s a modern twist too (although very sad and poignant) making it even more modern, and…also sadder, a 14 year old girl (hello Geraldo…babies having babies) gave birth to a premature baby and left him in a field. Super fable dog made reality found the crying infant and took it back to where it lived with her own babes. Luckily there were people there with enough foresight to realize that their dog’s puppies don’t cry like people. They found the baby and called the authorities.

Shiloh VS Suri

When I was at the local 711 getting another pack of very evil cigarettes I perused the magazine rack in front of the register as is my usual practice. We’ve all seen these well placed magazine covers and have probably succumbed to their glossy call, buying them on occasion even though we had no intention to do so.

I know it’s not a surprise. I guess it’s even to be expected. Yet I was truly revolted as I saw the cover of this week’s issue of the ever-present Star magazine. Their cover story was about the world’s favorite children, Suri Cruise and Shiloh Jolie Pitt. Depicted on the cover looking adorable were both tots. This is nothing unusual really; these kids have seen more press than any key on my keyboard.

What was bothersome was the premise of the story. The magazine pits the children against each other with a list of their “known” positive and negative attributes. Which kid is still on the bottle, who wears hand me downs, which one is a free spirit? It’s amazing that first of all people care (I mean, even I care enough to write a post about it) and second of all that everyone seems okay with creating an adversarial relationship between two toddlers who most likely don’t even know of the existence of the other.

Visual Merchandizing Bliss

HEMA is a Dutch department store. The first store opened on November 4, 1926, in Amsterdam . Now there are 150 stores all over the Netherlands. HEMA also has stores in Belgium, Luxembourg, and Germany. In June of this year, HEMA was sold to British investment company Lion Capital.

Take a look at their awesome and visually appealing frontpage. You can't order anything and it's in Dutch but just wait a couple of seconds and watch what happens. This company has a sense of humor and a great computer programmer.

Thanks for the link Mani!

A Cut Above The Rest

Isn’t this picture stunning? It comes to us from artist and blogger Neda of Austin, Texas. Her blog, Papiers Colles is chock full of similarly delightful images. Her work isn’t just pretty to look at either. Though the work may look like it was done on a computer or painted, it's actually a collage. That’s right, paper and glue.

Check out her blog to see more.

You Don't Need It

All day long we’re bombarded with advertisements making sure we are well aware of the newest must haves. There are ads on the train, in windows, driving by. It’s almost like we live our daily lives in a magazine where there’s far more marketing than there is content.

The Anit-Adverstising Agency has come up not with a solution to all of this, but more a commentary. You can get stickers from their website that say “you don’t need it” and post them wherever you see an advert. Of course this may fall into the arena of vandalism, but it worked for Banksy.

Workout While You Work

First there was the Walkstation (pictured above), which is effectively a computer workstation combined with a treadmill. The principle being that one could burn calories whilst at work, or surfing the net. This next invention however takes senselessness a step further, and really, I’m shocked it wasn’t Suzanne Somers herself who came up with this gem.

It’ called the Hawaii Chair, and it replicates the motion of a Hula dancer but in a seated position. You simply must watch the video to get the full effect of its insanity. Could you imagine having to sit on that thing at work? Next day hangovers would have a totally new meaning.

Rain

I love this graphic. Why haven't I seen this on a T-shirt?

Monkey Business in Beijing

BBC's commercial for the Chinese Olympics is awesome. Way better than any of the other campaigns I've seen. The visuals are from Jamie Hewlett, with music from Damon Albarn. They're the geniuses who created the Gorillaz music videos. The commercial is based on an actual opera called Monkey: Journey to the West that the duo helped create and is currently being performed at the Royal Opera House in England.

I love the way the animation meshes different styles together without relying on any one to engender familiarity. There's a little japanamation, a little classic Disney (parts of it reminds me of the Jungle Book), and thankfully zero Kung Fu Panda.

But It Was My Turn!

Imagine my dismay as I logged onto Facebook only to find that Scrabulous was down! The whole reason I started a Facebook account was in fact to play Scrabulous. Apparently the threatened lawsuit from game giant Hasbro has come to fruition. A new official form of Scrabble is available on the site, which has helped to move the lawsuit forward. Hasbro claims a violation of trademark and copyright law.

When one attempts to access their games it says “Scrabulous is disabled for US and Canadian users until further notice. If you would like to stay informed about developments in this matter,…” I wonder what’s going to happen to the games I was already playing, where, in most instances I was kicking some serious ScrabulASS. So I’m off to find the official game in order to placate my grammar addiction.

Adorableness Abounds

I got home from the bar tonight and let my dogs out as usual. In the suburbs it is essential to leash your dogs for a number of reasons. Personally, it’s important to do so because one of my adorable dogs, a mix of an Australian Shepherd and an Australian cattle dog, would voraciously kill any small animal (including a couple of Bichon Frise that are walked by the house on a daily basis).

Then there’s the love of my life which has somehow, whether it is through the hilarious joke of the universe, or just Murphy’s Law, has taken the form of a very high maintenance, and anxiety ridden beagle. Neither can be let out leash-less during the day. The Australian would attempt to kill anything in sight, and the beagle would just run away smelling his way to nowhere.

I only let them out without the leash at night (apparently the dark scares them). After a long night out they usually do their business and are easily controllable. Sometimes things like deer or coyotes appear, but really, they're domesticated dogs, and at the most run a few yards and give up when they realize that their physical prowess is incapable of chasing anything for too long. So through a complete lack of responsibility and laziness, and wanting to see them run amuck, I let them out and let them do their thing, but in a very Caesar Milan way, keep my tabs on them.

Tonight however I had the most amazing surprise. On my way home, a couple of blocks away I saw a skunk (one I saw the night before, in my yard). Last night I had the dogs out, and they didn’t even notice it. It’s always amazing when you see another animal before dogs do, because really…aren’t they supposed to have much keener senses? Alas, I was able to get them both inside before anything unseemly occurred.

Tonight I caught my beagle (Gabe…who shit in the house earlier because he always does when it thunders) sniffing through the Packisandra that borders most of the yard. He wouldn’t come when called, and just looked at me for an instance and immediately continued sniffing like a true cokehead. He’s in there for a bit, and I finally, by approaching physically, convince him that he must leave whatever it is. He moves towards the door, looking back continuously.

What happens next? The smallest and most adorable creature comes out of the Packisandra and follows him. Gabe can hardly contain his glee. He runs around…yet it’s a skunk…it’s a little adorable skunk…mostly white, black only on the underside. I’m scared at this point, years ago I had a dog sprayed, and it took over a week to get the stench out.

This thing was not interested in spraying though…it was following my well-tempered mostly black and white dog. I finally got him to go towards the door. The little thing followed…it was endearing…but hopefully its mom would come and get it, and it was just confused with the black/white combo, and Gabe’s gentle heart. Once inside…my lovely dog just whimpered by the door.

R.I.P. Sophia Petrillo

She’s dead…she’s really dead. Estelle Getty who played Sophia Petrillo on The Golden Girls passed away yesterday morning. Haven’t we all been affected by the Golden Girls? She was suffering from Dementia for the last few years, but really, this death has incredible implications for all of us.

I remember as a child watching this show at my grandmother’s house. Years later when I needed a break from the self-induced crazy hallucinations experienced in college, it was that show that served as my warm comfy blanket. In recent years the show has found a whole new generation of fans. These fans were not even alive when the show was on the air! There’s something about the Golden Girls that speaks to people regardless of their age, sex or generation.

How many shows have since been affected by this? One could flawlessly apply each character in that show to their counterparts in such shows as Sex in the City. Yet they did something further with the stories of these retired, over the hill women, that made them accessible…you felt as if they were real people, even part of your family.

More than anything else, the fact that these ageless icons do in fact die…makes me think of my own mortality. They were all so old when I was eleven….and now their actual death is made real, and more real because regardless of lifestyle or disease, age will eventually kill you (life eventually kills you).

Here’s to Sophia!

Jon and Kate Should Now Only Masterbate

Does anyone watch Jon and Kate Plus 8? Though it’s not on my list of favorite shows, it does suck me in with TLC’s relentless marathons when I’m procrastinating. Apparently the show is quite popular, as I’ve talked about it with friends, bartenders and perfect strangers.

Here’s the premise of the show. A married couple (that’s Jon and Kate) have trouble having a kid and decide to use fertility treatments. They end up with twin girls. Then they want just one more kid, do the same treatments and end up with six babies, for a total of eight offspring (or offsprung in this case).

Jon works in computers, Kate was a nurse…what could they do but make a reality TV show? How else could they possibly feed, cloth and send to college eight screaming (though adorable) little heads?

Almost everyone I’ve talked to hates Kate. She’s bossy, undermines and orders her husband around, and is kind of like a general. People seem to really like Jon and feel bad for him because his wife treats him like one of the kids. I disagree with this assessment completely. Jon is a space cadet. Jon needs to be told what to do, he wants to be told what to do, I think part of Jon even likes being told what to do. Kate has to be the HBIC or nothing would work, there’d be sextuplet feces everywhere and chaos would reign (that's also what would happen if I was in charge).

Metal Monk

A 62 year old Capuchin monk in Rome sings in a heavy metal band. Brother Cesare Bonizzi says that he first fell in love with such music at a Metallica concert 15 years ago.

Rabbit

Please forgive the youtube pixilated reproduction, but really, its brilliance still comes through. This is a film from illustrator and animator Run Wrake. He’s apparently really big in the biz, but this is the first I’ve heard of him (thanks Jouko), and we all know I love to share.

You really must go to his website. He has an aesthetic that is almost pan continental. There is quite a dearth of information about him from his site, but I assume he’s of Asian descent and has really made a connection that transcends bourgeois taste. He delves into a world’s pop culture rather than a pop culture understood by a select few.

Digital Genius

Artist Ryohei Hase of Tokyo, Japan is really quite amazing. His work looks like oil paintings, but he actually works digitally. His subject matter is a little dark, but worth a look nonetheless. Considering all the detail he puts into his images he must be a very patient man. There's even a part on his site where he explains his process. Very interesting.

Foxy Lady?

In Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania a woman was attacked by a fox. Instead of running away she detained the animal by holding its jaws shut and waiting for help to arrive. It was later discovered that the animal had rabies. Oh yeah, and the lady was a 77 year old grandmother.

Above is an illustration I did a while ago that shows a lady “detaining” a fox.

Bionic Gas Cows

Some cows in Argentina have plastic tanks strapped to their backs so scientists can study their flatulence as it pertains to global warming. The methane gas that is emitted from the cow is collected in the tanks via a tube from their stomach.

Read the article and watch the video from BBC News here.

It's amazing to think that first of all, we invented and genetically engineered the modern cow (through the human version of "natural selection"...much like we've done with dogs). We ARE the reason there are so many of them, why they react with what we feed them the way they do. It's ironic that these "things" that as a society we don't see as animals, but as things that end up on our plates, have had an unnatural effect on the planet. Yet we still just see them as "cows" that just happen to be in the same place at the same time...We made them and are the reason they have a less than innocuous effect on the world.

Absurd Question:

If a new body had to be constructed out of three people in order for you to live, what three celebrities would make the cut?

Above is an illustration I did of Frankenstein.

Art in Space

Nasser Azam of the UK, a painter and former Chief Operating Officer at Merrill Lynch is leading an expidition of five other artists into zero gravity for what is being called “Life in Space.”

Though they are not going into actual “space” they are taking a specially modified aircraft that will let them experience zero gravity intermittently. Though a painter, he will be forced to use oil pastels as paint would be harried sans gravity.

Though this may seem a fruitless endeavor to some, I believe the experience of creating something subjective and original may gain some amazing results. At the very least it’s something we haven’t seen before, and puts an artist’s eye where it hasn’t been before.

911...People Are Having Fun...

I had a great time on July 4th. It was a fantastic combination of really good barbecued food, a lot of good company and some pretty impressive fireworks implemented by non-professionals.

Of course the next day was difficult, I didn’t want to go to work, but alas. The night before had very few “snags” and ended brilliantly. The police did come, and they did confiscate some fireworks, but no one was worse for wear. Little did I know I would “enjoy” the confiscated fireworks at a local bar the very next evening.

Imagine, going to a bar, after a long days work to unwind. Imagine seeing at least ten police officers causing a drunken chaos of sorts with the fireworks confiscated from the get-together you attended mere hours before. Imagine them acting very hooligan-esque and doing what would have been done the night before, but without the charade clad feeling of entitlement.

Above is an illustration I did that represents what “The Man” is looking for, and how “evil” takes many forms, and sometimes the forms are not what’s truly evil, sometimes perceived wrong is more vigorously eradicated than what really hurts us.